Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Someday is NOW. This Post Brought to you by PAEJW

PAEJW = People Against the Ethical Treatment of John Williams. I am, of course, talking about John Williams the MP seeking re-election and not John Williams, the guy who wrote the theme for Jurassic Park. I think that guy's name is John Williams.
Getting back to how much of a dink John Williams the MP is, though. So my dad and I went to the forum last night. Present were Conrad Bitangcol of the Green Party, Moe Saeed of the Liberal Party, Mike Melymick of the New Democrats and John Williams (you'll have to find his website by yourself, because I don't care to know it, although I'm sure it's something like Go check out his large, ugly signs he has out). The whole forum was quite entertaining, with plenty of clapping anf booing. People here are into their politics. Mr. Williams discussed his party's plans to reprioritize and cut taxes and magically come up with even more money for social programs! Hey, if I had known that money grew on trees, I wouldn't be working my ass off. Newcomer Conrad may have been a bit nervous up there talking, but he displayed himself in such a mature manner, he seemed to be the nicest candidate. It's clear that the Green Party is about taxing companies that pollute and spend money on things that are good for you (and the environment). They want to get programs out there to educate the population on leading a healthier lifestyle, which would, as they claim, put less of a strain on the healthcare system in the long run. Wishful thinking, but a nice idea, nonetheless. Bitangcol made one of the best comments of the night (Moe Saeed made another, but I'll get to that later), when saying that people would ask The Green Party whether they were left wing or right wing. "You need both wings to fly," he stated. Cheers ensued. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding, Conrad. Mike Melymick, the NDP candidate, was the most passionate of them all. In his closing statement, Mike shouted that Canada will never be Americanized as he pulled out the Canadian flag (Moe Saeed commented that when he saw the red of the flag, he thought that he was in a bull fight, whatever that means). The NDP stand for, among other things: affordable public post-secondary education, pension protection and abolish the unelected senate. Moe Saeed was not a crowd pleaser. By the end of the night, the cheers for the Liberals were reduced to polite claps. Moe did make one funny comment though, saying that the Conservatives insulting the Liberals was like "manure saying they didn't like a pig because it smells."
As the gay marriage issue did not come up at all in the forum, I dragged my father around to ask each candidate about their party's position on it. Moe Saeed vanished immediately following the forum, but I spoke to the other three candidates. I waited first to see John Williams, but after he ignored me for several minutes to talk to middle aged people who got in line after me (he did this because he is a dink), I wandered off to talk to Mike Melymick who passionately told me that the NDP was in favour of gay marriage, and that the party would call it 'marriage'. I then talked to Conrad Bitangcol, who made direct eye contact with me during part of the conversation (he looked at the floor for the rest) who told me that the Green Party was also in favour of gay marriage. I then went to talk to John Williams, who is a very close talker. He shook my hand enthusiastically and said that he was glad to see young people there. I then asked him my question, and things got a little bit less friendly. He said that there could be civic unions between homosexuals but that in every other culture throughout history marriage "is between a man and a woman". My mild-mannered father did not approve of the history defence, and he and John Williams engaged in a small discussion. It mainly involved my father pointing out that homosexuality may not be an issue in other cultures and it may not have been an issue in history and John Willaims saying "History isn't wrong" over and over and various different ways. I then thanked him with gritted teeth (to prevent myself from spitting in his face) for answering my question. My dad and I were walking away, and I heard John Williams ridiculing us with his silly little friends (in dink-like arrogance). Making fun of constituents is a sure fire way to get votes, not that he needs to worry. Dominic and Sierra's mom did a very nice job of singing our national anthem.
I'd like to clarify one more thing. To all of you who are under the impression that the Green Party is the same as the Marijuana Party, you are incorrect, and I'm sick of hearing it. Don't let this new piece of information stop you from your original plans to vote Green. Unless your severe lack of brain cells prevents you from walking erect.


Blogger Sam said...

John Williams is a dink. SO if history is never wrong, uh what are we doing here? I'm confused.

12:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you even know what a paragraph is?

2:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(I am a different Anonymous than the paragraph-Nazi Anonymous above.)

I almost dropped the phone this Sunday when my dad told me he was thinking of voting Green. We're talking about a man who earns about 40% of his income from something that the Green Party would *outlaw*. (What this says about my father's sense of self-preservation is an issue to be discussed later.) Once you have middle-aged farmers ready to vote for you, you know you've made it -- the Green party could actually become a force in Canadian politics over the next few elections. The mind boggles.

7:10 AM  
Blogger Spencer said...

His *only* crime is Jaws 2.

8:07 AM  
Blogger Heather S. said...

What's wrong with Jaws 2?

4:20 PM  

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