Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Move over, Jude Law.

Greetings! As promised, here is the my list of the 50 sexiest men alive (or dead...I mean when they were alive. I'm not attracted to corpses). These are 50 men I don't know personally (except for #34), otherwise there would be more gay men on this list. At least two are gay, and four are dead. And it's not completely about looks, either (check out #20)

50. Jake Gyllenhaal: He was on People Magazine's list of the Sexiest Men Alive this year. He is Kirsten Dunst's ex-significant other. He was in The Good Girl with Jennifer Aniston, and I think he was in Donnie Darko as well. MMM Mm.
49. Chris Meloni: Elliot Stabler of Law & Order:SVU. He's balding slightly, but I've never been one to be attracted to conventionally good looking men. I don't know where I got this one, I don't even watch that show all that often.
48. Enrique Iglesias: His music sucks for the most part, but damn he's one good-looking individual.
47. George Clooney: A list of good-looking men would not be complete without this one (some would argue that it wouldn't be complete without Brad Pitt, either. Too bad.). One of two Georges.
46. Travis Barker: He's the drummer for Blink-182. He looks like Seth Green (#35) with tattoos and piercings.
45. Danny Masterson: Hyde of That 70's Show. The show is dead, and I haven't watched it for about three years. But I haven't forgotten.
44. Rick Campanelli: The Franchise. George Stroumboulopoulos said that he hoped Rick would be at Much forever. The station is targeted at 12-year-olds and people who wish that Much was MTV. And Rick has the Dick Clark syndrome. He will always be 12.
43. Brandon Lee: Bruce Lee's late son (I saw on Unsolved Mysteries once that people believed there was a curse on the family). He was a looker.
42. Ben McKenzie: Ryan of The O.C. He's short, and I like short men.
41. Nicholas Lea: Alex Krycek of The X-Files, one of my favourite shows on earth. He has really dark eyes. And he's thrown a few punches in David Duchovny's direction (when he was Mulder), so he gets points there.
40. Judd Nelson: Part of the brat pack. He played Bender in The Breakfast Club, my favourite movie.
39. Topher Grace: Eric Forman of That 70's Show. Again, I don't watch the show, but have you seen Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!? He's quality.
38. Jason Lee: He's been in a variety of different movies that I don't think people remember. I've only seen him in Heartbreakers.
37. Josh Duhamel: He is Tad Hamilton. Nice smile.
36. Jay Leno: Somewhat physically unappealing, but his is the only late night show I ever watch. I love headlines.
35. Seth Green: He's been in numerous movies, and he looks very good with black hair. His best performance was the remake of The Italian Job. He's the real Napster.
34. Oreo Cookies: Milk's favourite cookie. Heather's favourite cookie.
33. Sean Horcoff: So ugly that he's sexy. Don't ask me to explain that one.
32. Johnny Knoxville: The jackass himself. While everyone else on that show did way more stunts than he did, he's still rugged, rugged sexyman. He is supposedly cheating on his wife with Lindsay Lohan. But who isn't?
31. Pat Mastroianni: Joey Jeremiah from the days of Degrassi (well I think he's on the new ones, too). Everyone had a crush on Joey Jeremiah. Now he's larger and balder. But he's Joey Jeremiah, and he will be at Grant MacEwan on February 28th with Snake.
30. John Stamos: Speaking of oldies but goodies, here's Uncle Jesse of Full House. He's managed to stay attractive for a good number of years. I wonder if he dyes his hair.
29. Jonathan Torrens: Jonovision! He was also on Street Cents, back in the good old days of CBC after school shows. Speaking of...shows, he was also Gerald-with-a-hard-G on Joe Schmo 2. A funny man.
28. Jason London: 50% of the identical brothers London, he was in Jason and the Argonauts as well as Out Cold. He may have also been in Dazed & Confused, unless that was Jeremy London.
27. Eric Brewer: Former Oiler, #2. Sweet, sweet Eric Brewer.
26. Jon Stewart: I've seen his show twice, but I saw him in Playing by Heart with Gillian Anderson. He's good looking for a grey-haired man.
25. Prevail: 25% of Swollen Members, he has sexy hair. The bartender from Scholar's reminds me of him, as he also has sexy hair. I've seen Swollen Members live 3 times, and they're not all that good. But Prevail is hot. The end.
24. Rick Mercer: This man is hilarious, and I love him. He should do another Talking to Americans special. I would like that very much.
23. Ryan Reynolds: Van Wilder himself, and the sometime-to-be Mr Alanis Morisette. He was also in the last Blade movie, but I heard it was awful. I hated the first one.
22. Hawksley Workman: He played at both Stage 13 and Folk Fest last year. I saw him at the former, and he was awesome. And delicious. Fuck you you're drunk, and acting tough.
21. Tupac Shakur: I'm not a huge rap fan, but Tupac delivered a good message and he had a stunning physique. And nice eyes. Too bad he died. It's a shame, but remember: California knows how to party.
20. Rex Murphy: He's extremely physically unappealing, but his grasp of the English language is very sexy. VERY sexy. And his name is Rex. He's a good Rex, as opposed to the bad Rex.
19. Joe Strummer: Deceased for 2 or so years, Mr. Strummer was a musical god. A genius. Stroumbo said that while he was interviewing Joe Strummer one time, George would formulate his questions so that he could hear Strummer utter the words "The Clash". I love The Clash. Pass it on.
18. Jeremy Taggart: One of two remaining original members of Our Lady Peace, Jeremy is a wicked drummer. And I met him, sort of, at the Juno Cup last year. I have a picture. And they're amazing live. Jeremy wore knee-high socks when they played at Rexall in '03.
17. Kurt Cobain: Hmm, the pattern seems to be going dead-alive-dead-alive. Here we are again at dead. Cobain had a tragic life and his biography is very interesting. Also, he wrote some awesome songs. Go listen to 'Nevermind'. NOW.
16. Jeff "Anal" Probst: He has nice dimples and he hosts Survivor. It's sad that he no longer feels the need to walk through a forest and explain things to viewers, like how the mail system works. I miss season one.
15. Dan Savage: The sex guru. Dan Savage is the best sex columnist this world has to offer. He's funny and he makes fun of people. If it wasn't for his column, the word "Santorum" would not be as widly used as it is today. Here's to bursting like seed pods.
14. Greig Nori: The lead singer of Treble Charger. He puts on a good show. And he's hot. Just ask Dominic to do an imitation of my reaction to seeing Treble Charger live. You'll have to ask him, because I don't do the imitation for people I don't know that well. Unless I'm drunk.
13. Ben Kowalewicz: The lead singer of Billy Talent. I like his nasally voice. He looks like he could be the long-lost Culkin brother, but I don't care. He's still enjoyable to listen to/look at.
12. Ethan Zohn: The winner of Survivor: Africa and one of the babies of Survivor: All Stars. He has nice hair. And nice eyes.
11. Vince Vaughn: Normally I don't go for 6'5" tall men, but he's an exception. Very sexy in Dodgeball. Apparently he's been having secret rendez-vous's with Jennifer Aniston. They'd make pretty children.
10. Billie Joe Armstrong: The lead singer of Green Day. He may have freakishly short legs, but heck I'll take him anyway. Except he's married. Damn.
09. Johnny Depp: He's a permanent fixture on People's sexiest men issue. I have a nice poster of him on my wall. I bought it at the poster sale. He makes a sexy pirate.
08. Raine Maida: He's a peculiar-lookind individual, but he's a musical god and he has an awesome voice. He once wrote the best songs of his day. In 1994.
07. Ricky Ray: I miss Ricky Ray. Come back, Ricky Ray.
06. Anson Carter: I don't even know what team he was on last season, but my goodness what an appealing-looking individual he is.
05. Edward Norton: To get an idea od how attractive he is, watch The Score. You'll like him, especially if you like the look of weasels.
04. Pat Kelly: He was in Intern Academy and he made the movie, because let's face it, it wasn't all that good. He must wear scrubs all the time. For the rest of his life.
03. Zach Braff: Speaking of men in scrubs, here's another. He plays J.D on Scrubs. You may check out his blog by going to the sidebar.
02. Goran Visnjic: Gotta love those Croatian men. He's Dr. Kovac on ER. MM hmmm.
01. George Stroumboulopoulos: He's funny, he's smart and he has good taste in music. Aslo, he is insanely good looking. And I have pictures with him. Life is good.

So that's that, ladies and gents. I went to The World's Longest Hockey Game after they broke the record on Saturday. There was a large party, and there was a man there wearing a hat made out of a skunk.
On Monday night, Molly, CS and I had a Degrassi marathon slumber party. It was too much fun, let me tell you. I haven't had a slumber party in ages. Anyway, we watched the entire first season of Degrassi Junior High. It was awesome. they just don't make shows like they used to.


Blogger Bogg said...

I'm going to have to assume that I was #51.

2:01 PM  

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